War Horse!

I have been a huge Michael Morpurgo fan since I was about ten years old. My Nana took me to a bookstore and we chose some books for my Birthday present.
This was one of them;

I've read it 5 times. I saw the theatre production at the National theatre for my Birthday last year. And have been eagerly anticipating the release of this film for a whole year and a half now.

And I just got around to watching it tonight.

The book, although I only ever cried during the third read through, touched me deeply. I'm not really a huge fan of books and movies involving animals, but I'm a sucker for horses. Michael Morpurgo is the only author who has ever made stories involving animals appealing to me. That is why, to me, he is such a great writer.

The theatre production, I welled up; it was magnificent! The acting was superb, there were changes to the storyline, but they didn't bother me like they normally do. I was moved. And I would happily go and see it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and you get the idea.......

The movie, oh so greatly anticipated; bit of a let down after the theatre production. But then again, the theatre was so impressive, I feel that Stephen Spielberg was fighting a losing battle even before he began shooting the film.

The casting was very well done,

a complete unknown for Albert Narracott;

 Jeremy Irvine - not a bad actor, but could do with some more experience; I feel he did a fairly good job for such a huge part. I'd give him a 6 out of 10 for it. I found that it was hard to connect with him sometimes. I felt that he was a bit wooden with Joey, I sometimes found it hard to believe that horse and boy had such a strong bond.

The lovely Emily Watson for Rose Narracott;

I just adored her! Her character was different to that of the book, but I liked it. Emily just looks like someones Mother, I mean that in the most flattering way possible. She just oozes motherliness (I think I just made that word up, but spell check let me have it!). She is strong, brave, loyal, supportive, yet gentle too. I love the way that she sticks by her husband, even through his drinking, and is understanding of the pain he experienced whilst away at war.

Peter Mullan for Ted Narracott;

There was something melancholy about him. He is a complex character, he says very little and what the audience knows about him mainly comes from his wife, Rose. She is the one to unravel him ever so slightly for us. Even Albert is constantly confused and frustrated by his Father and his actions.

And of course, the star of the film, Joey himself!
Of the 15 horses who portrayed Joey, the one who provided most of the 'acting', Finder, also played Seasbiscuit in the film about the famous racehorse of the same name! 

There are many other characters, played by a host of other talented actors including, Benedict Cumberbatch, David Thewlis, Tom Hiddleston, and Patrick Kennedy to name but a few.

The relationships between all three Narracotts is well played. They mesh together, bearing each others struggles, they are not perfect and there are clashes. But you can see the love between them. The genuinely care about each other even if they don't show it often, life is no picnic for them.

However the relationship between Joey and Albert is harder to see. There are moments when there seems to be warmth between the two. But I more often than not feel that the horse is a better actor than Jeremy! This is where I feel that Jeremy is wooden in his acting, and really lets the side down.

The horror of the trenches is well conveyed, the terror, and fear, the mud and discomfort. The bravery of the soldiers, on both sides, is clearly visible. The complete waste of life that was spent on that war is displayed, both men and horses.

It is a very serious film, and I felt that it could have had a few more laughs, and witty lines in particular were lacking. I did rather enjoy the scene where a German soldier corrects an English soldier's grammar though! In fact that whole scene is probably the best and most touching of the whole film, at least it was for me personally.

I welled up, once, however I had expected to bawl like a baby. Spielberg did not deliver on that front I'm afraid, and that was a disappointment. I had expected a roller coaster of emotions, but found the film dragged. Some parts were too long and drawn out, while some of the minor characters were very hard to connect with.

The character Emilie provided some light relief from the horror that is WW1 in this film. She is funny, and sweet in her own way. I found her slightly spoilt and a touch irritating, however she was like a ray of sunlight. The position of her appearance in the film is strategically placed.She shines through a storm cloud of misery and discouragement. She genuinely cares about Joey, and loves him, however she does feel like a superficial character at times.

Emilie, played by Celine Buckens, and her Grandfather, played by Niels Arestrup.

The film was able to convey themes of friendship, loyalty, love, hope, and persistence. The friendship between Andrew and Albert, and all the men in the trenches. The loyalty between comrades, family and friends, and to some extent, horses. The love between a family, who beat all the odds, and struggle to make a living. The love between a boy and his horse, although this was weakly conveyed. Hope saturates this film, the hope of life, love, and survival. Hope kept the men in the trenches alive, and brought them home. Albert has hope, and he is rewarded for it. Albert and Joey persist, they survive all odds, determined to survive. The whole Narracott family are driven and determined to beat all odds; they work hard, and stick together.

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The Narracotts and Joey.

Scenery was beautiful; music fitted each scene, blending well with each scene; lighting was very asthetic expecially towards the end of the film.

So, yes, I do reccomend it, and perhaps someone who hasn't seen the theatre production would find it easier to connect with it emotionally. It is a very good film, a well worth a watch.

On a side note, I adored Kate Middleton's dress at the Royal premiere in London's Leicster square! Isn't is gorgeous?!

Raw Chocolate and blueberry pie! Yum!

I'm kinda into the whole raw healthy food thing, and I love experimenting and making different things in the kitchen. And last month I made a completely raw vegan blueberry pie! It was delicious! And I can say that because my family loved it, it didn't last very long.
Doesn't it look fab?!

Here's how I made it;

For the pie crust I used,
1 cup of walnuts, although cashews are the best for pie crusts.
1 cup of almonds, again using all cashews is better, but really any nut is good, just experiment and find your favourite.
1 cup of dates.
Honey.

All you have to do it finely grind the nuts either in a food processor or a coffee grinder.

Then use a food processor to whizz up the dates until they form a big sticky ball. Once the dates are all mooshy, add the nuts. Keep whizzing until you get a fairly solid consistency, add as little or as much honey as you want. I used the honey to get the right consistency.
 Once it's ready mold it onto a dish, and stick it in the freezer.

Then make the filling;
2 cup of blueberries,
1 cup of almonds, or any other nut you prefer,
3 tablespoons of raw cacao ground up or cocoa powder,
honey.

Grind the nuts, again I find a coffee grinder the best. Whizz up the blueberries in a food processor, they won't look so good when you do this! Put all the other ingredients in with the blueberries and whizz up until you get a mousse like consistency.

Add honey to taste.
Then just put the mousse on the pie, and you're ready to go!

Also the blueberry filling is also amazing on it's own as a pudding. You could probably do it with different berries too.

It's amazing what you can make with God's creation! =)

By the way, raw cacao is unrefined, unroasted, straight from the pod, chocolate. It has a very strong flavour and loads of health benefits, which is why I love it. I get mine on the Internet. But if you don't want to use it, or you don't like the taste then just use cocoa powder, or you could probably just leave it out.

The Gamesmaker saga continues....

So, a while back I posted a blog about the Gamesmakers' uniform. And I mentioned that I was still waiting for my interview.
Well, I had it this month! I travelled up to London, and of course combined it with a visit to one of my good friends.
I had a ball naturally; stayed in London for two nights, and I feel that the interview went rather well. I have no regrets! Although there was one thing that I could have mentioned and may have been useful to them, but nevermind, I'm sure there is a very good reason why God let me forget during my interview so I am not going to fret.

They were interviewing me for a role in the Events service team; which is basically a fancy way of saying, customer service.
i.e, the big question they wanted to answer is am I a people person?

I have to say that I actually really enjoyed the whole experience. And even though I was pretty nervous about the interview, the guy who interviewed was so nice that I was able to completely relax.
I was slightly uncomfortable with the fact that everyone encouraged us to brag and boast about our skills and characteristics etc. But I got over that, my skill is more enthusiasm as opposed to qualifications to be honest. But I am pretty good at working in a team and getting things done.

So anyways, I won't have to wait long to find out if I have been offered a role, 6 weeks at the most!
I'll keep you posted! =D 

squandered time

It was a spiteful thing to say; It was intended to injure and cause damage. It was regretted almost as soon as the last syllable came rolling off the tongue. But the regret did not outweigh the anger and rage welled deep within the heart. Those words were said in order to cut and wound. Anger was directed at her.
Any Mother would've been ashamed to hear such words of hate and passion falling so easily and freely from her daughter's mouth. But this girl's Mother was not present to correct her. All the wise words bestowed on this girl by her Mother were lost; silenced by passionate madness and frenzy.

Stupid now; reckless now; how often does the girl berate herself for such a display of teenage angst and ignorance? She lies awake and wonders to herself, "what was my provocation? I cannot recall. What did we quarrel over? It must have been important. I cannot remember. Or maybe I can, perhaps deep down - I know. But it was stupid, so superficial, so pathetic, that I refuse to acknowledge it. I deny."

Sometimes a suppressed memory will float up and engulf her. A joke shared, a sadness endured, a homework assignment flunked together. These paralyse her, making her feel worthless. The scarlet of embarrassment colouring her pale cheeks. Sometimes she overcomes her pride and thumbs uncommitted through the phone book. Wondering, hoping, terrified, ashamed.

Since that time she's made so many mistakes; and deep in her heart she knows, that the one person who would've dissuaded her, she cast aside like a rag doll, beat her down and hurt her.

That memory that hurts the most; the car pulls away. Carrying her off in the back seat, to a new life far, far away. She does not look back, she does not cast her eyes back at her attacker. She sits in injured pride, eyes straight ahead. Never looking back. And the attacker, held fast by her own stubborn pride, refuses to call out, to chase after the car, to beg forgiveness and a phone number.
The girl sneers at her teenage self these days. So proud; she let go of the dearest and sweetest friend, and for what?

Whenever she goes out, and sees young girls together she longs to warn them, to press on them the importance of friendship, and how much the loss of it can ache, like a life long toothache that no pill can remove.
She sits and watches them, as they stroll along, arm in arm, giggling, at ease. Just like they had been, and should have been still.

She allows a memory to sweep over her, like the tide it slowly creeps up the beach that is her consciousness, until she in completely immersed in it - She sits on the park bench, and her dear, sweet friend giggles and calls out to her, and calls out, again and again, like an echo, but not, her voice grows stronger and draws closer, instead of fading out.....The voice is so loud, too loud for a mere memory. But she dares not open her eyes for fear that the memory will fade and leave her flat and in emotional turmoil like before.
That voice so sweet and melodious, loving and kindly. She clings to the memory. She feels a soft hand upon her cheek; and the scent of a lily.

Her hand, her scent.

She slowly opens her eyes, and a face swims into view. Two kind beautiful brown sparkling eyes, the colour of milk chocolate, flecked with warm golden honey comb, now dewed with moisture. That face, wrinkled now and careworn, the gift age bestows on all - but it is her; dear, sweet friend.

She has found me, forgiven me, and sought me out. She searched for me. She missed me like her left foot. And a burden that weighed her shoulders takes flight, never to return. Forgiveness is like honey, sweet, and warm. Speech is impaired, only tears flow. But words are not needed now.

Now standing beneath a blossom tree; a beautiful spot. Natural beauty displayed all around. Spectacular and glorious. She would have liked it. A shadow of a small smile briefly touches her face, and then it disappears.
She reached her journey's end; she came to say goodbye.

She was the better woman; she forgave when the other could not. She embraced the one who cut her down. The victim sought out the attacker and loved her.

She loved me and she came back.

Now, I miss her even more.

New year resolutions

Listening to An aeroplane carried me to bed - Sky Sailing.

So I only have a few, no really, okay maybe a few.

#1, dress better - Over the last two years I've been exploring different styles and I am more aware of the kind of style I like. I like high waisted skirt and heeled brogues, vintage style sweaters with skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots, so I am going to used Ebay to obtain a gorgeous wardrobe, a task that will take at least a year; although I have already begun =)

My parents got me these for Christmas; aren't they gorgeous?!

#2, Eat better - The last six months have been the worst of my life. And even though I am very health aware, I use food as a crutch. I'm sad, I eat, I'm stressed, I eat, I'm angry, I eat, etc. I've put on weight, and I need to get back to my green smoothies. I love eating good, wholesome food, and cooking is a passion. This year with the new awareness to the fact that my body reacts very badly to gluten, I am determined to eat well. No more junk!

#3, Exercise better - We upgraded our treadmill so there are few excuses. I live in the middle of nowhere, so running and cycling is no issue. I am capable of running 10 miles everyday, so I should. Besides it's nice to run early in the morning when there's no one else around, just you and the birds. It clears my head and starts the day so well. And even if it's raining and the treadmill is out of action, we still have all of the Jillian Michaels' workout videos AS WELL AS hundreds of other exercise videos, and some of them are just as tough as a 10 miler! No lie!

#4, Use my time wisely - Okay, so I let a lot of time slip by, I should have been more productive, I have so many hobbies I should be bettering myself. I could have been a 2nd Dan black belt by now, but I'm not, because I didn't organise my time well enough.

#5, Be in bed by 10:30PM on weekdays - I have found that due to my tendencies to insomnia if I'm not in bed by this time, I will not sleep until 2AM at the earliest.

I would love to have this room!

#6, Be up by 7:20AM on weekdays - If I'm not out running just after 8, then the whole of my day's schedule is messed up, and if it's a particularly cold or miserable day I sometimes take up to 40 minutes to get ready.

This is definitely not England XD It's not raining or foggy!

#7, Lose 26 pounds - I've put on around 12 pounds over six months - the same amount of weight that I worked three months to lose just after last Christmas. I am considered healthy at my current weight, but I am not happy at my current weight. I've worked out that 112 pounds is perfectly healthy for someone my height and I won't look bony and scarily skinny at that weight. My clothes are starting to feel tight too, so it's definitely time to take control again.

There are many other smaller things I want to do this year, such as go to another Owl City concert! But those 7 things are the most important to me.

Anyway, I look forward to another year of hard work, play, blogging and learning.

Happy New year to all my readers.

CC.Shoshanah  xxxx

New year, new me

I think I can honestly say that this year I have been more excited about the 1st of January than Christmas; and not just because the second series of the BBC's Sherlock is being broadcast on the first of the New year, but because it is a new year, and mentally and fresh start is what I have been in desperate need of for the last three months, no exaggeration.

I have done little work, and what I have done has been of little importance. To summarise the last three months would quite simply be one participle; surviving. I haven't achieved anything. I've read a few throw-away books, cooked a couple of meals and updated a facebook status that few people read or even truly care about.

I have two exams next year, I must book them in January, yet I have done little work to prepare. These exams can dictate my future. They prove to those around me, and to myself that I am not a failure and that I am clever; and that home-school is not for 'special' children who are not good enough to attend school. A grades are within my grasp, yet I am letting them slip away; I need to drastically turn myself around.

The truth is I've been hiding. I've been terrified this year and completely lost all my confidence in other people; I no longer trust anyone, my parents are an exception obviously, but that doesn't mean they won't make mistakes. I run and hide the real me because this year I've been crushed; my whole family has been crushed. I feel like my Father has been stolen from me, he has been dragged through the mud by so called friends. He has been brutally attacked, metaphorically speaking. My Mother struggles to support him, and I carry all the stress and sadness that engulfs us all. The summer was brutal but the aftermath has been torment. I know that there is a reason and a purpose; but I am yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've suffered hurts and pains from people I thought were my friends, and it's all been too much for me in one year. I feel every injury inflicted upon any family member, it's just my nature.

I am mentally smothered. I need to clear my head. I feel like I have so much in my head, but little of it is of worth. I need to throw it all away and start a new, fill it with important things. Bible verses, Latin verses, Greek verses, ballet dances, martial exercises and joyful thoughts.

My head is as cluttered as my room; both need a spring clean, and I intend to give them both just that. On the 1st of January 2012 I will be my own self again. I allowed people to steal a complete total of around 5 months from me, now I will take control once more; right now I am doing nothing for God. In this state he cannot use me. I am idle in a way - and the Devil will make use of that unless I act swiftly.
I am determined to say, 'no more'
I will fix the mess I am in. I will return to my exercise regime that keeps me fit and bright eyed; I will return to a proper diet, the one I thrive on, not this processed diet.
I cannot do this on my own, to do so would be foolishness; I need God to hold my hand every step of the way.

My family is devastated, my parents are in pain. If I can drag myself out of despair with God's help, I can be of far more use to them. If I hold God's hand through this I can help others reach out to God; I can't fix people, but he can.

So, in effect I have been desperate for the New year for about 4 weeks now, and with three days to go and I am planning on clearing my room, getting my textbooks ready, contemplating meals to cook, planning an exercise regime and choosing new commentaries as devotionals.

Hopefully, I will heal, but I feel it will be a long process. I have retreated within myself and fear allowing anyone other then a small handful of people to get to know me. Conversations I have with others are shallow and lacking in depth; I only answer their questions, I never offer any information of myself, they must request it.

I like to hide, tell people I can't meet them because I'm busy - translation, I don't want to get hurt. I'm tired of it. Is that the right attitude? If you want to be lonely and miserable than continue in this way, but if not then don't.

I know that the next six months are going to be tough.  But I can do it. I can do all through Christ who strengthens me. Christ was able to endure the agony of the cross; my trials and the trials of my family this year have been nothing in comparison.

I want to feel like my old self again, or better yet, I want to feel like I am truly living for God, becoming more like Christ, treating my body like the temple that it is, encouraging and helping others, and learning more in every area of life. I am tired of just 'coping' of just 'surviving'. Going through the motions of life, nodding and smiling when the occasion calls for it, hiding in the toilets, sitting at the back with my coat collar up and my scarf hiding most of my head.

I know what I must do, and I am now ready to do it. 

Be strong and confident, all you who wait on the Lord.                                                                                                                       Psalms 31v24

Prayers are gratefully received at this time =)

Not even a hint of love.........

So I haven't written for a while, but something really got to me at the weekend and I felt like I really wanted to write about it so I could get it straight in my head.

I'm not a fan of Bruno Mars, I've only, in truth, ever heard about three maybe four on his songs when they play on the radio. I heard his latest single on Sunday while I was in the car. The song is called Marry you, and has a very pretty background melody of bells jingling throughout. However on closer inspection of the lyrics I felt pangs of sadness and anger.

The song seems innocent enough, and to be honest it's not much different to most other pop songs out there at the moment. The words don't mean much, they just fill music.

In the first verse one of the lines is 'we're looking for something dumb to do'.
Which doesn't sound shocking or alarming in any way.......... out of context that is. The following verses go,  'Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you'.

Nothing too bad there really, however I think it's important to note that the singer is obviously bored, looking for some way to entertain himself. Also he "thinks" he'd like to marry the girl to whom this song is directed.

So, he's unsure and bored.

The following lines are pretty monotonous, choruses and etc. He suggests that they go to this little chapel he knows and get married, he encourages her to say yes to this idea, they get married and the church bells ring, la, la, la......  

The verses I found most shocking and in truth frightening were these ones;

 If we wake up and you wanna break up that's cool.
No, I won't blame you;
It was fun girl.

 I'm sorry, but does that sound like, let's get married, spend one night together as husband and wife, and then part ways in the morning? Is his view of marriage so low, is that his idea of commitment, and what happened to 'till death do you part"??? Those verses scream at me that he doesn't really care, he isn't bothered.

Is this really the view people have of marriage? Something to be done for fun? Without much thought? 

It scares me because if this is shown in one pop song, how many other pop songs are there with similar morals being sung to children from a young age? Songs are easy to remember, they stick in your head, which is why it's so important to be careful what you listen to. Is this the way the world is going? I know young Christian girls of 14/15 years old who have posted statuses on facebook along the lines of, 'I want to marry Bruno Mars, he's so romantic'. Really?? Seriously?? Shouldn't you be waiting for a man who will love you, provide for you, cherish you, adore you, protect you and guide you? Someone who is trying to model Christ's behaviour? I know I am.

To be truthful, Bruno is the kind of guy who I would go out of my way to avoid. I would run in the other direction. I don't want to marry someone who may leave me a week after we get married. Who wants to live with the constant dread that he may never come back? That you were just a whim a fling, a spur of the moment idea.

The other scary thing is that throughout the whole song, he never once says I love you, or tells her she's beautiful. He never calls her darling, or honey. He calls her babe - and personally, I never have, nor will I ever respond to that name.
There isn't even a hint of love in the whole of the song. 

God's idea of marriage is so opposed to Bruno's. Marriage is meant to last until one spouse dies. It is supposed to be beautiful, thought out, contemplated, prepared for, longed for, expected.

Marriage is meant to be an example of Jesus' love for his bride, the church. Jesus will never abandon us, no matter what we do. We can be wickedly unfaithful to him, yet he will continue to love us, yes he will discipline us, but he will never leave us, he is with us 'till death do us part, and forever after that too.
Jesus' love is unconditional, he will guide us and comfort us. He strengthens us and gives us everything we need.

How does that compare to Bruno Mars' love and his offer of a 24 hour long marriage?

Some part of me feels deep sadness for this misguided and lost artist. Unless he finds Jesus, he will always have an empty space in his heart. He will be in a life-long search for what he thinks love is. He will have countless girlfriends, he may even have countless marriages. But he will never truly be happy, and he won't know why.

Just something that caught my attention.

Love, love xxxx