California Calling....

I am so excited about starting Bible college. It's a whole new chapter of my life. I did have a real desire to go but money always dissuaded me. I never really voiced this desire either because I thought it was so impossible that there was no point really. I will forever be amazed at how God knows all those secret things you want, and sometimes brings them about without you even realising it. I never asked to go to Bible college, I never made any plans to go, I never saved any money specifically for it; but I now find myself filling out visa forms and selling all my surplus stuff, and winter clothes ready for a new life in California.

The daunting task of reducing my life into a couple of suitcases is looming. And I had no idea that suitcases were so expensive!

I am so excited to get learning!! I've never been to school and for the last three years I've been my own teacher. I am actually looking forward to having homework deadlines, and having someone else predict my grades for me. I'm actually going to have to be in class on time. I am so thrilled.

The idea of living in sunny California for two years is so exciting, I still haven't quite grasped it. I love the sun, for someone who was born in the middle of winter I can't stand the cold! During the winter months I sleep beneath two duvets and three fleece blankets, and I wear hoodies and socks and a hat, etc........
 So I'm looking forward to keeping my sunglasses out for more than three months of the year.

And the idea of having a barbecue for my Birthday this year, well, I have no words for the excitement that brings!!

Annnnd, let's not forget thrift stores! I can't wait to check those out. I do love a good bargain!

So many things to look forward to!!

God provides; I'm going to Bible college!!!

Two months ago I was fretting and worried about what I was going to do with my life. I had no plans, and no ideas really. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And when it came to careers I changed my mind weekly....... I was to be very honest, in bit of a tizzy.

I knew I didn't want to go to university, there was nothing I really wanted to study. And the idea of debt terrified me. I'm of the mindset that if you can't afford it, don't buy it. And I really did not want to spend three years of my life studying a subject that did not truly interest me, to gain a degree so I could get a job that I was neither passionate about nor interested in.

To be frank, I did look at a Bible college website to see how much it cost, and left the site convinced that that was not an option either.

Then through a strange series of events I have been given a scholarship to Bible college, not in England, but in California!!!!!

The whole point of this post, is not for me to brag, which would be pretty ugly and sinful of me. But more to encourage anyone who is in a tough episode of life at the moment. For anyone who is confused or lost. I was, I still am really, I have so much to sort out, but now I know where I'm going. I feel slightly more secure and stable. God has provided something incredible, something that I believed was impossible. God can do anything, and he can do things in the most unexpected of ways. So keep trusting; I know it's hard. But you'll pull through. And if I hadn't had such a bad and miserable 18 months this wouldn't have happened. And I wouldn't be half as grateful as I am now.

Love, love

CC <3

The Hunger Games; just some thoughts

I must admit that I only read the Hunger games because there was so much hype about it. Curious I dug a little deeper to see what it was all about so when I heard that the premise of the actual Hunger games was based on an the ancient Mycenaean myth of the Minotaur, a myth rather dear to my heart, after having spent 6 months studying the Mycenaean civilisation for an exam, I decided that I really should read it for myself.
Normally I don't tend to jump on those kind of bandwagons, for example, Twilight came along and I refused to read the series and I refused to watch the films, instead I sat down and enjoyed Bram Stoker's Dracula, as you do.

Anyways, I found the first book in the trilogy, the Hunger Games very readable, in fact I probably stayed up way to late reading it! However, I must admit that I felt there was something lacking. But I just can't put my finger on it.

I liked the whole idea of the Hunger Games. A government controlling people through fear, and doing anything to retain that power is an age old phenomenon. But having strong, healthy, young adults fight it out for their lives in an enclosed space has never cropped up in anything I've read before. Early on in the book the Hunger games makes you feel the terror and fear that every single parent and grandparent in each district must feel at every single reaping. The resentment that everyone one throughout each of the 12 districts must have within towards the Capitol, yet never being able to show it for fear of punishment. The feelings of tension, anger, hatred, terror and dismay are rife through the districts. The perfect setting for a rebellion.

I liked most of the characters.Well, lets be clear, there are obviously characters you're not supposed to like, for example, President Snow! But seriously, the majority of the characters are not either 'good' or 'bad', they have a huge range of feelings and emotions and as you discover more about the way the Capitol works and their own pasts you can see why they feel the way they do and why they act the way they do.

On a side note I loved the way the book was futuristic, however felt very archaic and backwards as well. The Capitol is full of high tech gadgets and magic medicines, while those in the districts have no such luxuries and are forced to forage for food and supplies. 

I must admit, I wasn't much impressed with Katniss. Well, I was in some ways; she volunteered to take her little sister's place in the Hunger Games, she practically signed her own death warrant. Nevertheless I find Katniss moody, selfish and sometimes just down-right annoying. She has a balanced mix of desirable and undesirable qualities, and as a heroine that isn't something that happens often. I mean really, in general, the the hero or heroine of a story tends to appear to have only the desirable characteristics while the bad guy, has all the undesirable characteristics. And that's fine, however it's not real life. People aren't as simple as that; they're complicated and intricate. This realisation that a colourful character, for want of a better term, came while I was studying Virgil's Aeneid last week. Many people don't like Aeneas because he is flawed, so in other words he's a human hero. And I think Katniss is very much like this in the first of the Hunger games trilogy.I wasn't too impressed with Katniss' treatment of her Mother, but I won't say too much on that, don't want to spoil the book or the film for you.

 On the whole I think the Hunger games was an insightful and interesting look at the way in which people react to different things. How people with different characteristics behave and say.

 I really wasn't keen on the whole love triangle. I adore Peeta as a character, I think he is so sweet, if my brother grows up to be like Peeta I will be so proud. I am not keen on Gale, I can't really explain why. I find him moody, and uncommunicative, and over the whole trilogy I find he becomes more and more possessive of Katniss, which really irritates me. I found the whole fictitious romance in the arena a bit odd, however it did work, and I understand that the middle of the book would have been far more boring.

 This book is definitely not butterflies and sunshine, it is gritty, and in places violent. It shows human nature stretched to it's limits, people doing anything to save their own lives. It's in a word, realistic.It makes you ask questions about yourself too;

Would I react in the same way as Katniss if I were in her shoes? Would I volunteer as tribute for a sibling? Would I play with Peeta's heart to save myself? 

Would I behave the same way as Peet if I were in his shoes? Or Haymitch, or Rue, or Clove, Seneca, Gale, Thrush, Glimmer or Cato?

Food for thought.

I think the Hunger games warrants a 4 out of 5 stars.

On a side note though I do think that the recommended age is rather low, I think it is far more suitable for a children in their teen years, maybe 13+, as opposed to 9+

War Horse!

I have been a huge Michael Morpurgo fan since I was about ten years old. My Nana took me to a bookstore and we chose some books for my Birthday present.
This was one of them;

I've read it 5 times. I saw the theatre production at the National theatre for my Birthday last year. And have been eagerly anticipating the release of this film for a whole year and a half now.

And I just got around to watching it tonight.

The book, although I only ever cried during the third read through, touched me deeply. I'm not really a huge fan of books and movies involving animals, but I'm a sucker for horses. Michael Morpurgo is the only author who has ever made stories involving animals appealing to me. That is why, to me, he is such a great writer.

The theatre production, I welled up; it was magnificent! The acting was superb, there were changes to the storyline, but they didn't bother me like they normally do. I was moved. And I would happily go and see it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and you get the idea.......

The movie, oh so greatly anticipated; bit of a let down after the theatre production. But then again, the theatre was so impressive, I feel that Stephen Spielberg was fighting a losing battle even before he began shooting the film.

The casting was very well done,

a complete unknown for Albert Narracott;

 Jeremy Irvine - not a bad actor, but could do with some more experience; I feel he did a fairly good job for such a huge part. I'd give him a 6 out of 10 for it. I found that it was hard to connect with him sometimes. I felt that he was a bit wooden with Joey, I sometimes found it hard to believe that horse and boy had such a strong bond.

The lovely Emily Watson for Rose Narracott;

I just adored her! Her character was different to that of the book, but I liked it. Emily just looks like someones Mother, I mean that in the most flattering way possible. She just oozes motherliness (I think I just made that word up, but spell check let me have it!). She is strong, brave, loyal, supportive, yet gentle too. I love the way that she sticks by her husband, even through his drinking, and is understanding of the pain he experienced whilst away at war.

Peter Mullan for Ted Narracott;

There was something melancholy about him. He is a complex character, he says very little and what the audience knows about him mainly comes from his wife, Rose. She is the one to unravel him ever so slightly for us. Even Albert is constantly confused and frustrated by his Father and his actions.

And of course, the star of the film, Joey himself!
Of the 15 horses who portrayed Joey, the one who provided most of the 'acting', Finder, also played Seasbiscuit in the film about the famous racehorse of the same name! 

There are many other characters, played by a host of other talented actors including, Benedict Cumberbatch, David Thewlis, Tom Hiddleston, and Patrick Kennedy to name but a few.

The relationships between all three Narracotts is well played. They mesh together, bearing each others struggles, they are not perfect and there are clashes. But you can see the love between them. The genuinely care about each other even if they don't show it often, life is no picnic for them.

However the relationship between Joey and Albert is harder to see. There are moments when there seems to be warmth between the two. But I more often than not feel that the horse is a better actor than Jeremy! This is where I feel that Jeremy is wooden in his acting, and really lets the side down.

The horror of the trenches is well conveyed, the terror, and fear, the mud and discomfort. The bravery of the soldiers, on both sides, is clearly visible. The complete waste of life that was spent on that war is displayed, both men and horses.

It is a very serious film, and I felt that it could have had a few more laughs, and witty lines in particular were lacking. I did rather enjoy the scene where a German soldier corrects an English soldier's grammar though! In fact that whole scene is probably the best and most touching of the whole film, at least it was for me personally.

I welled up, once, however I had expected to bawl like a baby. Spielberg did not deliver on that front I'm afraid, and that was a disappointment. I had expected a roller coaster of emotions, but found the film dragged. Some parts were too long and drawn out, while some of the minor characters were very hard to connect with.

The character Emilie provided some light relief from the horror that is WW1 in this film. She is funny, and sweet in her own way. I found her slightly spoilt and a touch irritating, however she was like a ray of sunlight. The position of her appearance in the film is strategically placed.She shines through a storm cloud of misery and discouragement. She genuinely cares about Joey, and loves him, however she does feel like a superficial character at times.

Emilie, played by Celine Buckens, and her Grandfather, played by Niels Arestrup.

The film was able to convey themes of friendship, loyalty, love, hope, and persistence. The friendship between Andrew and Albert, and all the men in the trenches. The loyalty between comrades, family and friends, and to some extent, horses. The love between a family, who beat all the odds, and struggle to make a living. The love between a boy and his horse, although this was weakly conveyed. Hope saturates this film, the hope of life, love, and survival. Hope kept the men in the trenches alive, and brought them home. Albert has hope, and he is rewarded for it. Albert and Joey persist, they survive all odds, determined to survive. The whole Narracott family are driven and determined to beat all odds; they work hard, and stick together.

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The Narracotts and Joey.

Scenery was beautiful; music fitted each scene, blending well with each scene; lighting was very asthetic expecially towards the end of the film.

So, yes, I do reccomend it, and perhaps someone who hasn't seen the theatre production would find it easier to connect with it emotionally. It is a very good film, a well worth a watch.

On a side note, I adored Kate Middleton's dress at the Royal premiere in London's Leicster square! Isn't is gorgeous?!

Raw Chocolate and blueberry pie! Yum!

I'm kinda into the whole raw healthy food thing, and I love experimenting and making different things in the kitchen. And last month I made a completely raw vegan blueberry pie! It was delicious! And I can say that because my family loved it, it didn't last very long.
Doesn't it look fab?!

Here's how I made it;

For the pie crust I used,
1 cup of walnuts, although cashews are the best for pie crusts.
1 cup of almonds, again using all cashews is better, but really any nut is good, just experiment and find your favourite.
1 cup of dates.
Honey.

All you have to do it finely grind the nuts either in a food processor or a coffee grinder.

Then use a food processor to whizz up the dates until they form a big sticky ball. Once the dates are all mooshy, add the nuts. Keep whizzing until you get a fairly solid consistency, add as little or as much honey as you want. I used the honey to get the right consistency.
 Once it's ready mold it onto a dish, and stick it in the freezer.

Then make the filling;
2 cup of blueberries,
1 cup of almonds, or any other nut you prefer,
3 tablespoons of raw cacao ground up or cocoa powder,
honey.

Grind the nuts, again I find a coffee grinder the best. Whizz up the blueberries in a food processor, they won't look so good when you do this! Put all the other ingredients in with the blueberries and whizz up until you get a mousse like consistency.

Add honey to taste.
Then just put the mousse on the pie, and you're ready to go!

Also the blueberry filling is also amazing on it's own as a pudding. You could probably do it with different berries too.

It's amazing what you can make with God's creation! =)

By the way, raw cacao is unrefined, unroasted, straight from the pod, chocolate. It has a very strong flavour and loads of health benefits, which is why I love it. I get mine on the Internet. But if you don't want to use it, or you don't like the taste then just use cocoa powder, or you could probably just leave it out.

The Gamesmaker saga continues....

So, a while back I posted a blog about the Gamesmakers' uniform. And I mentioned that I was still waiting for my interview.
Well, I had it this month! I travelled up to London, and of course combined it with a visit to one of my good friends.
I had a ball naturally; stayed in London for two nights, and I feel that the interview went rather well. I have no regrets! Although there was one thing that I could have mentioned and may have been useful to them, but nevermind, I'm sure there is a very good reason why God let me forget during my interview so I am not going to fret.

They were interviewing me for a role in the Events service team; which is basically a fancy way of saying, customer service.
i.e, the big question they wanted to answer is am I a people person?

I have to say that I actually really enjoyed the whole experience. And even though I was pretty nervous about the interview, the guy who interviewed was so nice that I was able to completely relax.
I was slightly uncomfortable with the fact that everyone encouraged us to brag and boast about our skills and characteristics etc. But I got over that, my skill is more enthusiasm as opposed to qualifications to be honest. But I am pretty good at working in a team and getting things done.

So anyways, I won't have to wait long to find out if I have been offered a role, 6 weeks at the most!
I'll keep you posted! =D 

squandered time

It was a spiteful thing to say; It was intended to injure and cause damage. It was regretted almost as soon as the last syllable came rolling off the tongue. But the regret did not outweigh the anger and rage welled deep within the heart. Those words were said in order to cut and wound. Anger was directed at her.
Any Mother would've been ashamed to hear such words of hate and passion falling so easily and freely from her daughter's mouth. But this girl's Mother was not present to correct her. All the wise words bestowed on this girl by her Mother were lost; silenced by passionate madness and frenzy.

Stupid now; reckless now; how often does the girl berate herself for such a display of teenage angst and ignorance? She lies awake and wonders to herself, "what was my provocation? I cannot recall. What did we quarrel over? It must have been important. I cannot remember. Or maybe I can, perhaps deep down - I know. But it was stupid, so superficial, so pathetic, that I refuse to acknowledge it. I deny."

Sometimes a suppressed memory will float up and engulf her. A joke shared, a sadness endured, a homework assignment flunked together. These paralyse her, making her feel worthless. The scarlet of embarrassment colouring her pale cheeks. Sometimes she overcomes her pride and thumbs uncommitted through the phone book. Wondering, hoping, terrified, ashamed.

Since that time she's made so many mistakes; and deep in her heart she knows, that the one person who would've dissuaded her, she cast aside like a rag doll, beat her down and hurt her.

That memory that hurts the most; the car pulls away. Carrying her off in the back seat, to a new life far, far away. She does not look back, she does not cast her eyes back at her attacker. She sits in injured pride, eyes straight ahead. Never looking back. And the attacker, held fast by her own stubborn pride, refuses to call out, to chase after the car, to beg forgiveness and a phone number.
The girl sneers at her teenage self these days. So proud; she let go of the dearest and sweetest friend, and for what?

Whenever she goes out, and sees young girls together she longs to warn them, to press on them the importance of friendship, and how much the loss of it can ache, like a life long toothache that no pill can remove.
She sits and watches them, as they stroll along, arm in arm, giggling, at ease. Just like they had been, and should have been still.

She allows a memory to sweep over her, like the tide it slowly creeps up the beach that is her consciousness, until she in completely immersed in it - She sits on the park bench, and her dear, sweet friend giggles and calls out to her, and calls out, again and again, like an echo, but not, her voice grows stronger and draws closer, instead of fading out.....The voice is so loud, too loud for a mere memory. But she dares not open her eyes for fear that the memory will fade and leave her flat and in emotional turmoil like before.
That voice so sweet and melodious, loving and kindly. She clings to the memory. She feels a soft hand upon her cheek; and the scent of a lily.

Her hand, her scent.

She slowly opens her eyes, and a face swims into view. Two kind beautiful brown sparkling eyes, the colour of milk chocolate, flecked with warm golden honey comb, now dewed with moisture. That face, wrinkled now and careworn, the gift age bestows on all - but it is her; dear, sweet friend.

She has found me, forgiven me, and sought me out. She searched for me. She missed me like her left foot. And a burden that weighed her shoulders takes flight, never to return. Forgiveness is like honey, sweet, and warm. Speech is impaired, only tears flow. But words are not needed now.

Now standing beneath a blossom tree; a beautiful spot. Natural beauty displayed all around. Spectacular and glorious. She would have liked it. A shadow of a small smile briefly touches her face, and then it disappears.
She reached her journey's end; she came to say goodbye.

She was the better woman; she forgave when the other could not. She embraced the one who cut her down. The victim sought out the attacker and loved her.

She loved me and she came back.

Now, I miss her even more.